I'll Run
song by: the cab
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3m4XLag3SU
^^here's the song. enjoy!!
I can see it in your eyes, you're scared
All these things they force you to do aren't fair
I'm here to chase away these tears
And baby we can chase away these fears
I can hear it in your voice, you care
Let me run my fingers through your hair
I'll keep you company at night
And baby I'm here to make this right
“Check check, one two-check, CHECK!” Joe called into his microphone and Kevin picked out a quick progression on his guitar. “Check, Joe Jonas is the hotter brother, check one TWO!”
Kevin threw his empty water bottle at him. “Hey!” Joe whined. “You could put an eye out!” Kevin shook his head.
“I was hoping to put your ego out!” He laughed back at him and waited for the green light out in the audience to finish his sound check. Once he finished he placed his guitar back on its stand and walked past his younger brother Nick who was checking the levels of the sleek black piano in the middle of the stage. He didn’t look up at Kevin through his mangled curls and instead bled out the intro to a new song he’d been working on.
“When you look me in the eyes, and tell me that you love me: everything’s alright,” Joe sang softly into the microphone, making sure the speakers could catch his every inflection. “When you’re right here by my side, when you look me in the eyes: I catch a glimpse of heaven…”
“I find my paradise,” Kevin sang under his breath as he finally disappeared off the stage. The wings were filled with motion as speakers, cases, and costumes were dragged back and forth along the back wall and down the stairs from the main dressing rooms to the stage floor. He realized he was surrounded by at least thirty people he didn’t know, but he continued to sweep across the floor towards the stage with a contented grin on his face, his eyes neither on the ground nor his feet, but off in the distance somewhere, on a long winding road, on a beach, in the sky. His mind was wandering somewhere between reality and a daydream filled with a smiling girl with long brown chocolate hair. Paradise to him was exactly that; that smile, that hair, that look on her face as she spun around to laugh at him, running along a choppy dirt road along the water. The girl’s name was Ella and she was his everything.
Well, almost his everything, anyway. Ella had a boyfriend named Ryland who’d she’d been dating for the last eight months. This never truly bothered Kevin until about two months ago when he, Joe, and Nick went off on the When You Look Me In The Eyes Tour, where they headlined across the country. Ella was his best friend, and after coming off the last tour he thought he’d get to spend some down time in Jersey with her, just like old times, but it wasn’t so. In the beginning it was alright, she’d call him once and a while and he’d try to return the calls as often as possible, but it was never the same, and it hurt him far more than he expected it to. Ella had been his best friend since middle school and for some reason, being apart from her now was eating away at him. The songs they played at night when the lights dimmed just enough to see nothing but a black abyss past the stage, were played just for her, or at least, in his mind they were. Every chord he strummed, every note he picked were done with her in mind, and he even caught himself singing some of the lyrics that burned at his heart the most. He knew he had loved her the night two months ago when ‘Hello Beautiful’ brought him to tears, and he had to be escorted off the stage to readjust his contacts and catch his breath. Joe and Nick had hurried off the stage as soon as their act was over and comforted him into spilling his thoughts, and now they all knew. He was in love with Ella. He was in love with a girl who didn’t belong to him. He knew he was going to be respectful of her and Ryland and keep his emotions to himself, but it was the fact that he wanted her so desperately clung at his every thought. Making his way up the stairs the image of her came to him more vividly, and his grin turned into a full on smile, slightly scaring the workers as they edged around him.
Tonight’s show was an hour and a half from his hometown, which meant Ella was coming to see him. He’d sent her tickets and backstage passes so that she could watch them live as well as give them a chance to hang out again. Just the anticipation of seeing her face was electric against his skin, and it tingled all over his body.
“Excuse me; I’m looking for Kevin Jonas?” A delicate voice smashed his thought bubble into a thousand pieces. He looked around him to see where it had come from. Down the stairs to his left a slender girl with a tan corduroy hat stood in a doorway, talking to a man in a suit. The man scratched his head and opened his mouth to reply but Kevin was too fast for him.
“Ell?” He called out. The girl lifted her head and their eyes locked. It only took Kevin a millisecond to take in her features; her strong, pointed facial structure and high classy cheekbones. The way her pin-straight brown tresses fell over her shoulders in a drowning wave. And then there were her eyes, blue-green and sparkling—sparkling up at him.
“Kev!” She cried and raced up the stairs towards him, clad in a decorative white tank top and matching tan corduroy pants, a brown suede belt swung around her middle. Kevin’s mind raced and he felt himself gulp as she zeroed in on him, his arms already outstretched for her to run into.
“Ell I missed you so much,” he breathed, his mouth hanging open as she crashed into him; her entire body enveloped in his arms was like a gift from God himself. He couldn’t believe this was happening that he was holding her in his arms again. He let the moment ride over his senses for as long as possible. He wanted to remember the way her soft hair felt under his fingertips, the way she smelled of cookie dough and lilac, and how happy he felt, just standing in this one spot, clinging to her in an embrace.
“I missed you too Kev,” she sighed happily. She held him at arms length and looked him over, her smile broadening when she came back up to his eyes. Her smile was heaven-sent, he swore to it and it caused his whole body to go into nervous shivers. “Please don’t ever leave me so long again.” She laughed. Her smile grew even more and Kevin felt weak at the knees. He shook his head, no words to even speak.
“Never, I promise.”
But then he saw something, her eyes were glassy all of a sudden and his eyebrows furrowed. “Ella, what’s wrong?” He asked. Ella gave him a sympathetic smile and looked down quickly.
“Ryland broke up with me.” She whispered. When she looked up again the edges of her eyes were wet with tears. Kevin’s eyes bugged out slowly. The hurt on her face was visible a mile away, and it plucked on his heartstrings.
“Oh Ell,” he whispered and pulled her back into his chest. He felt her tense up and then relax his arms. “It’s okay to cry,” he assured her. An excruciating moment passed where all they could hear was the buzz of the air vents overhead before a shaking cough could be heard muffled in Kevin’s chest, followed by a slow but steady cry. Kevin swallowed hard, swallowing how painful it was to hear this, to see this. But this is what he wanted, wasn’t it? He wanted to be able to have Ella all to himself and now here was his chance. But not this way—he didn’t want her to have to hurt so badly, to be hurt by someone who obviously didn’t realize what an amazing thing he had going. “When did this happen?” He asked her. She sniffed.
“Three weeks ago,” she admitted and pulled away from him. Kevin couldn’t help but feel empty without her touch. She fidgeted with her fingers, a sign he knew that she was uncomfortable. “I know it’s stupid to still be crying over it but—”
“You’re not stupid,” Kevin told her and brushed her wet bangs out of her eyes. She looked up at him and smiled.
“Thanks Kev,” she sighed. “I really, really missed you, you know.” Kevin smiled and gave her another quick hug.
“Right back at ya,” he replied. They both sighed into a comfortable silence, where they both watched each other intently. Kevin silently wondered what she was thinking about. “Do you want to talk about it?” He finally asked. She made a face and shrugged.
“There isn’t much to talk about. He uh—he cheated on me with that Abby girl, from high school. And then left me for her.” She admitted. Kevin’s eyes bulged out of their sockets.
“Abby Barren?” He coughed. Abby was a known witch with a capital B. She had harassed Ella throughout high school and spread rumors about those less outgoing than she was. Kevin felt the need to track Ryland down and punch his lights out right then and there. Ella nodded slowly again, and a fresh round of tears formed on her lids.
“And it’s not that I’m even still in love with him. It just—it…” She trailed off, her melodious voice now stumbling through tears. “It just hurts so bad.” She broke down again and Kevin didn’t hesitate to pull her into him again, tears even clinging to the back of his throat now. He’d never felt this way, so bitterly sad, so heartbroken for someone else. Just the sound of her crying made him want to cry too. He couldn’t bear seeing her this sad.
“Oh Ell,” he whispered into her fringe and kissed the top of her head. “Ella you’re beautiful. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met in my entire life. Ryland couldn’t see it babe, he just didn’t know. He wasn’t worthy of a moment of your time, and by giving him that chance to be loved by you is the most precious gift you could have given him. But he couldn’t handle it.” He spoke from the heart. Ella looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy.
“Kevin—”
“No, it’s true. You’re so interesting and special, Ell. I love your confidence, and then sometimes lack of, your intelligence, your kindness. But not everyone is lucky enough to appreciate it, like me,” he smiled. “Like your family too. Some people are given the gift to see beauty the way that it is, but he missed out on that.” He ran his fingers through her hair. “He didn’t know Ella; he didn’t even know how special you are.”
Ella’s eyes blinked a stream of tears and she pressed her face into Kevin’s neck. He could feel how sticky it was from her crying but he held her there still.
“I miss you so much, every day,” Ella breathed into him. Kevin closed his eyes to keep himself from crying too. The ache in his heart he felt every time he had missed her out on tour amplified around her words.
“I miss you too Ella. I miss you too.”
Just then Joe and Nick walked in from the stage door, both of them halting as they found Kevin holding a crying Ella in his arms, both of them leaning up against the far wall. Joe’s eyes enlarged at his brother and Nick just stood there, scared of what would cause this. Kevin just looked at his brothers briefly, a solemn look on his face, and they understood. They both slipped past them and into their dressing room without another word. “How are you getting by?” Kevin asked Ella once the other two were out of sight. Ella reached up and wiped her eyes dry. She took in a deep breath and composed herself.
“I’m okay,” she answered quietly. “My friends keep me busy. Taryn thinks that’ll make me get over it. You know—going out with them to meet new guys.” She shook her head quickly and made a disgusted face. “I hate it though,” she admitted. “They’re forcing me out and I’m just so scared right now, to throw myself into something with someone I don’t really know…again.”
Kevin’s forehead wrinkled.
“They shouldn’t be forcing you do anything,” he said. “That’s not fair.”
Ella smiled at him and shrugged.
“Yeah, but they’re just trying to help.”
Kevin rubbed his hand up and down her shoulder and then took her hand in his. The spark it emitted almost caused him to vomit but he stayed cool and just smiled down at her. He could see the hurt in her eyes, and how scared she was: being battered by her friends who were too callous to understand her predicament, let alone try to help. But he was determined to fix that, to chase those tears and fears away that left the dark lines under her eyes.
“Don’t worry,” he smiled at her. “Kevin’s here to take care of you.”
Because sometimes baby you fall on your back
But girl you're three times the lady I'll ever have
And you know, you know it's true
This is a fight I refuse to lose
That night during the show, Ella sat in the wings on one of their amp cases, watching the show from the best seat in the house. She giggled and waved at Kevin every time he glanced over towards her. Sometimes he’d even turn to face her briefly, picking out a mind-melting progression that caught the breath in her lungs. When Kevin began picking out the intro for ‘When You Look Me In the Eyes,’ Ella noticed a change take over Kevin’s face, something unexplainable but beautiful all the same. His eyes closed and he swayed slightly against his guitar, and she suddenly felt the strong desire to hold him, to feel his arms around her again. During the final chorus when Nick’s voice shook with the intensity of the song, Kevin looked over to her, his eyes wide and ghastly, as if he was looking right through her. Ella felt her face go numb and all she could do was stare back, helpless, longing to be so much closer to him than she was. When the song ended Kevin placed his guitar down without breaking eye contact with her and sauntered off the stage. Joe looked over at him, holding the microphone between his fingers, but never said anything—almost as if he knew. Disappearing for a second behind the thick black curtains, Kevin returned in front of her, his eyes bloodshot. She looked up at him as he stepped in front of her, reaching down slowly to pull her chin up in his hand. Without a word he brushed the hair out of her face and looked directly into her eyes, and she could see the hurt he felt there—the strain he had been going through, but for what she didn’t know. Then as quickly as he had appeared, he reached down with his lips and kissed her softly. The room spun with a force she’d never felt before, and she felt herself reaching up to touch the sides of his face, keeping him there with her.
Kevin’s world swirled; he had never felt such a power come over him before. Sure there were fans behind him screaming in distraught that 1/3 of the group was MIA, but right here, right now, he was Ella’s, and that’s exactly where he wanted to be. When they gently broke apart he took her hand and pulled her up from the case, smiling at her. And there she was, smiling back at him—the most beautiful girl in the world.
She was three times the lady he’d ever had, let alone seen. And she had kissed HIM back. She could have pushed him away, but that’s not how it had happened. From that moment, when her soft lips touched his, he knew he didn’t want anyone else—it was her or nothing at all. He wanted to catch her when she fell, hold her when she needed him, and he wanted to be by her side, no matter what stood in their way.
“Do you have faith in me?” He asked her gently. Ella cradled the side of his face in her hands, and he thought he might cry from her touch on his skin.
“Don’t hurt me,” she whispered. Kevin smiled at this, even though it seemed strange that one would smile at something like that.
“Never,” he chuckled and pulled on her hand towards the stage door.
And I'll run
Have a little faith in me
You're scared and alone
And I'll run
This is wear we both break free
I'll bring you home
“Kevin, what are we doing!?” Ella cried into the fray, the wind whipping around them at hurricane forces. Kevin threw his stray scarf back over his shoulder and grabbed her hand once more.
“We’re running!” He yelled back in laughter at her. Ella laughed and struggled to keep up.
“Well I REALIZE we’re RUNNING,” she gasped through her giggles. “But where are we running to!?”
Kevin looked back at her, her hair flying around her head, and smiled.
“We’re not running to anything!” He called back. “We’re running from everything!” And he grabbed tightly to her hand, pulling her into him with such a force that she fell. He grabbed her up in his arms wedding style and spun her around, both of them falling into stitches of laughter.
“WOOOO!” Ella cried out, her chest feeling like it was caving in but she kept the smile on her face. Never in her life had she been so indescribably happy, as if in one moment Kevin had taken all her pain away. Maybe she was an idiot to try to find something special in Ryland, when she had always known that something special in her best friend. She looked down at Kevin so lovingly that his smile disappeared from his face and he slowed down to a stop. “That was fun,” she said quietly as he let her down. Kevin grabbed her hand and they continued walking down the dark street.
“I’m so glad you came out to the show,” Kevin whispered to her. Ella smiled.
“Well of course Kevin, I would never miss seeing you,” she replied. She stopped and turned towards him. Kevin watched that perfect smile of hers spread across her face. “Ever.”
A hoarse laugh escaped him. He was just too excited to speak. Hours ago he was aching with the pain of having Ella, but only from a distance, and now he had finally shown her how much she meant to him. He pulled her into him and kissed her again, this time more slowly, showing her how much time in the world he had just to spend on her.
“You know I’d always be faithful to you,” he told her seriously. Ella nodded.
“I know—”
“I’d never hurt you Ella, ever. You know me. You know I’d always take care of you. I know you’re scared and alone, but if you just believe me—”
“I do believe you Kevin,” Ella answered with a smile. He was quiet. “But I don’t want to go too quickly either,” this time she was more serious. “Everything feels like it’s happening at once.”
Kevin nodded and clasped both of her gloved hands in his.
“It is happening all at once Ell. But I’d wait for you forever.” He looked her right in the eyes so he knew she was listening to him. “I’ve been waiting for a long time for this chance, and I’ll wait all over again if I have to. I’ll run after you if that’s what it takes.” Ella touched his face and placed her forehead against his. “You’re my best friend Ell. Just have a little faith in me baby, believe in me.”
Ella’s eyes rimmed with tears once more.
“I’d never make you wait forever,” she whispered and kissed his lips again. He smiled at her. “So what do we do now?” she asked. Kevin wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into him as they continued their slow walk down the street.
“I think it’s time I take a pretty girl home, eh?” He laughed. Ella looked up at him.
“You’re not gonna drive are you?” Her eyes widened in fear. Kevin furrowed his eyebrows in mock offense.
“Hey, I’m a perfectly good driver!” He whined. Ella laughed at him and punched him in the side.
“Like the time you tried parking the car during your driver’s test?” She mused. Kevin covered his face in shame.
“And it ended up on the porch.” He moaned.
“Across the street.”
Kevin burst out laughing and tried to hide the redness in his face.
“I swear I’m better.” He protested. Ella looked up at him adoringly once more, and again he leaned down to kiss her tenderly.
“I still don’t think so,” she chided in a whisper. Kevin shook his head at her, from only inches above her lips. Her eyes never sparkled so much than they did right then in the moonlight.
“How else are you gonna get home?” He joked. Ella looked sideways at the long stretch of sidewalk still before them. Then she looked back at him.
“I’ll run,” she laughed and took off like a shot. Kevin glanced up in shock as she dashed away from him before he too took off running. He ran after her at full speed, both of them howling with laughter, into the darkness. She made him follow her for what seemed like hours, but he never stopped once. He told her he’d chase her forever.
Believe me and don't think twice
And don't leave me or say goodbye
Believe me, believe me tonight