In Repair – a KEVIN one shot!
The strength of the sun on Erica’s face was overwhelming, but she smiled as she rubbed her sleepy eyes. She could feel the warmth of its warm rays radiating the room and she marveled at the fact that she could enjoy another day. She turned on her side and greeted the woman she shared a room with.
“Morning, Bernice!” she said brightly.
She heard the eighty-five year old woman in the bed next to her let out a cough in reply.
“Good morning sweetheart. Sleep well last night?” she asked.
“Yeah, for the first time in a long time,” Erica replied.
On many occasions, Erica was offered a room switch. Not many eighteen-year-olds were willing to share a hospital room with an old woman, but Erica loved being in Bernice’s company. She loved the stories that she told and couldn’t imagine living there without Bernice by her side.
“So whatever happened to that curly haired boy that used to come around here all the time?” Bernice asked; she was never shy about prying into Erica’s personal life.
Erica immediately felt the happiness drain from her face and the noticed that the sun made its way behind a cloud upon the mentioning of the only boy she had ever loved. Erica didn’t even have to respond; Bernice knew.
“Eh, who needs him?” Bernice said with a chuckle. “Men are a dime a dozen, honey!”
The sides of Erica’s mouth curled up into a smile as she forced the picture of Kevin that had been floating around her head out of her mind.
“Ready for your physical therapy, Erica?” a young nurse said as she rolled a wheelchair over to Erica’s bed. “Hop on!”
Erica struggled to sit up in her hospital bed. Her routine was monotonous. Wake up. Ignore the breakfast tray placed on the table beside her bed. Physical therapy. Then back to the bed to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day.
She rolled over on to her side and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She used every ounce of energy she had in her petite body to shimmy herself down into the wheelchair.
“Let’s roll,” Erica joked.
It had been almost seven months to the day since the fateful date that put Erica in the hospital. It was a summer day, much like any other. She was over Kevin’s house for a Fourth of July party, a permanent smile painted across her face. The smell of barbequed food traveled through the backyard and into each of their noses. She was out back with Kevin, his brothers, and her sisters, playing an innocent game of football. The game got serious and the boys decided to gang up on Erica, tackling her to the ground before forming a dog pile on her back. She begged for them to get up, screaming about how she couldn’t move. Assuming it was because of the weight of four growing boys, they all got up and extended their hands to help her up. When she still couldn’t move, it was apparent that something was wrong.
Doctors diagnosed her as paralyzed from the waist down due to a spinal cord injury and most physicians agreed that she would never walk again. Seven months later, she still couldn’t walk. However, she grew more and more determined to gain use of her legs again with each day.
For the first few months, Kevin stayed by her side day in and day out. The bags under his eyes worsened everyday and no matter how many times she had told him he could go home, he persistently remained at the hospital with her. Then one day he left, however, was the last day she saw him. He never told her he had no intention of returning. He just left and never came back. For nights, Erica cried herself to sleep. Her bloodshot eyes and lack of energy worried the doctors who immediately put her on sleeping medication. It had been a few weeks since he left and Erica had become accustomed to staring at the vacant chair that Kevin had slept in for so many nights. Occasionally, one of her sisters would inhabit the chair, but they never stayed for long. Each of them had their own busy lives to tend to and she couldn’t expect them to devote their lives to keeping her company. Kevin was the only one willing to do that for her. He had given up a tour to sit with her. She had the unfortunate luck of finding out that he did go on that tour once he left her. The only person Erica could count on to always be there was Bernice. An eighty-five year old woman had become her best friend.
The ride from her hospital wing to the physical therapy room seemed longer than usual that day. Erica had a habit of peering in each of the hospital rooms as she passed by. There was Mr. Caruthers, the man who lost his arm in a snowmobile accident. There was Erica’s youngest friend from the hospital, Becky, who had leukemia. She had gotten to know each of the patients just by passing their rooms daily before physical therapy. Each greeted her with a warm smile. She had a contagious laugh and everyone loved her. It was evident to all of the nurses that other patients looked forward to Erica’s ride down the wing. Sometimes she’d force the nurse to let her stop and tell the same story to each patient she saw, making her late for her physical therapy appointments. The doctors seldom cared; they loved her too.
Erica’s physical trainer, Jack, greeted her with a huge smile.
“Ready? Today’s the day, Erica! I can feel it in my bones,” he said with confidence.
Erica gave a frustrated chuckle.
“Yeah, okaaaay,” she said. “If I walk today, I’ll give you a million dollars more than my parents are already paying you for this.”
Jack laughed and pushed Erica over to a bar. She reached her hands out for it and tried with all of her might to pull herself up to stand. Jack caught her as she fell forward after her legs gave out beneath her.
“Hopeless,” she muttered to herself.
Erica was always optimistic about her paralysis—until physical therapy. It was an hour of hell every day. She’d try to stand up, but she failed every time. Jack told her that there was hope, but Erica felt that that was something he was paid to say.
“Want to try the braces?” Jack asked, just like he did every session.
Erica shook her head and held back the tears that burned in her eyes.
“Erica, you can do this. I’ve seen it done. You have to believe in yourself and in me. We can do this together,” Jack said.
Erica, for the first time, broke down in front of Jack. She let the tears flow freely from her eyes upon her realization of failure. Her positive view on life came crashing down as she maneuvered herself back to the wheelchair where she hid her head between her legs.
“Maybe tomorrow,” she said through her tears. “I’ve had enough for today.”
Jack gave her a sympathetic nod and called for the nurse who would wheel Erica back to the room. For the first time since arriving at the hospital, Erica stared straight ahead as she was brought back to her room. She heard her favorite patients calling out to her.
“What’s wrong, baby girl?”
“Why the long face?”
“You’re too beautiful to cry.”
Erica heard them, but ignored them. Everything they said just made her want to cry again and she had convinced herself that she was too strong for that. A smile replaced the last tear that crawled down her cheek as Bernice, along with Erica’s three sisters, greeted her in the room.
“I didn’t think you guys were coming,” Erica said.
“Were you crying?” her sister Tina asked.
“Don’t worry about it,” Erica replied.
“We didn’t expect you back from your physical therapy for another half hour. What happened?” her other sister Niki asked with concern.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m so glad to see you guys!” Erica said with a feigned enthusiasm.
Erica’s younger sister Kat shooed the nurse away kindly and helped Erica out of the wheelchair and into the bed. Erica loved just sitting there with her sisters, just talking for hours. It had been about two weeks since any of them had visited and it had been well over a month since they had all been gathered together in one place. It was good to have any company at all. As comical and interesting as Bernice was, Erica loved to see familiar faces grace the hospital room every once in awhile. She couldn’t help but notice that no one was sitting in Kevin’s chair and she could almost feel his presence there with them. She shook the feeling and became herself once again, laughing harder than anyone else in the room. A sense of disappointment overwhelmed her when a nurse came into tell everyone that visiting hours at over. She knew it might be awhile before her sisters came back for another visit.
Erica stared at the walls and counted the spots on the ceiling. She knew that there were four hundred and thirty two because she counted them almost every day, but she counted them regardless. She tried reading a magazine, but threw it aside when Kevin’s face appeared on one of its pages. She talked to Bernice until they both fell asleep.
The next day, Erica woke up to the sounds of frantic nurses and doctors. Machines were beeping like crazy and Erica knew that something was wrong with Bernice. She wanted nothing more than to get up and rush to her friend’s side, but she couldn’t. She yelled through the curtain and a nurse came over.
“Erica, sweetheart, she’s gone. There was nothing we could do. She died peacefully in her sleep,” the nurse said calmly.
Erica grabbed a pillow and buried her face in it. Everything she had was gone. Her room seemed lonelier than ever once Bernice was removed. It only took a few days for a new roommate to be brought in. Erica tried to warm up to her. Madison. She was a sweet girl, a little younger than Erica. She had suffered a minor injury aftera rock climbing accident. Erica knew Madison wouldn’t be there for long, so she refused to get close to her. She was done having the people she loved snatched away from underneath her nose
“Physical therapy time,” Erica’s nurse said with a smile.
Erica rolled her eyes. It was apparent to everyone that she was getting bitterer with every passing day. Her sisters’ visits were few and far between. Physical therapy was a constant slap in the face. Erica fumbled into the wheelchair and the nurse proceeded down her daily route to the physical therapy room. Erica glanced into each room as she always did, waving to the patients she knew and smiling at the newcomers.
“Wait a second,” she said in a frenzy.
The nurse didn’t hear her and continued on her way. Erica refused to believe what she had saw so she forced the nurse to turn around.
“That room, right there,” she said. “I swear it looked like someone I knew.”
The nurse wheeled her back into room 208. She hovered in the doorway silently until the person laying in the hospital bed felt her presence.
“Joe?” she asked.
“Erica? You’re still here?” he asked.
“Not leaving for awhile. How’d you end up here?” she asked.
“I fell,” Joe replied in embarrassment.
“Again?” Erica laughed.
“Uh, I don’t mean to kick you out but uh, Kev’s here and I don’t know if you want to see him but uh, never mind because he’s right behind you,” Joe said before pulling the blankets over his bandaged head.
“I better get going to physical therapy anyway,” Erica said as she wheeled herself around Kevin who stood dumbfounded before her.
Erica found her nurse and she was accompanied to physical therapy where Jack was waiting patiently for her. He noticed a change in her attitude—a look on her face that he had never seen. He didn’t question her, but he couldn’t deny his curiosity.
“Ready to try again?” he asked anxiously.
“Let’s get this over with,” Erica said.
Part of her wanted to end the therapy session because it was her least favorite part of the day, but an even bigger part of her wanted to see Kevin again—even if just for a second. She got her chance sooner than she expected. Her heart skipped a beat when she looked up and saw him there.
“Hey,” he said awkwardly.
“Uh, hi,” she replied.
Jack didn’t understand what was going on, but he stepped away to give Erica privacy.
“How have you been? You walking yet?” Kevin asked.
Erica shook her head.
“You’ll get there,” he said quietly.
“Let’s see,” Erica said.
She pulled herself up on the bar and came crashing down, hitting her head on the wall.
“Nope,” she announced.
“Here,” he said. “I’ll help you up—if you want me to, that is.”
He walked over to her and extended both hands. She reluctantly reached out to him and he helped her up. She fell into his chest and he held her there for few seconds before finally helping her back into her wheelchair.
“Just give it time,” he whispered.
“Kevin,” Erica said in a serious tone. “Why did you stop coming? Why didn’t you call? Or answer my calls? Or texts?”
She looked up at him and could practically see the guilt that flushed his face. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at his shoes in shame.
“I put you in that chair,” he said. “I couldn’t live with myself watching you suffer day in and day out knowing that I helped you lose everything.”
“I didn’t lose everything until you left,” Erica said coldly.
Kevin didn’t know what to say. He felt guilty for putting her in a wheelchair. He felt guilty for abandoning her. He was wrong in every sense of the word and he was well aware of that.
“Funny how Joe got hurt at a Jersey show and we end up at this hospital,” he said to change the subject.
Erica shook her head in frustration.
“Yeah, hysterical,” she said as she wheeled away.
Upset that her first encounter with Kevin since he had left was as successful as her attempts to walk, Erica wheeled herself back to the room without a word to Jack or her nurse. She sat next to her window and stared out of it blankly. She shut the blinds when she saw Kevin getting into a car with Nick and Frankie.
“You okay? You were a little speedracer when you wheeled on in here,” Madison called from behind the curtain.
“Fine,” Erica replied.
“I’m leaving today,” Madison said with excitement.
“Of course you are,” Erica snapped. “I mean—that’s great.”
Erica slept from then until her next therapy session. She wasn’t awake to see Madison leave and she was pleased that she didn’t have to say another good-bye. The bed was still empty when Erica was wheeled off to therapy, but she knew it wouldn’t be vacant for long.
Joe was still in his hospital room and she gave him a quick wave as she passed by. Kevin was in the room with him, but thankfully, did not see her. She entered the room where Jack was waiting. He looked tired, but lit up when he saw her.
“Here we go,” he said.
“Here we go,” she repeated.
“Wait, wait, wait,” a voice called.
“Are you serious?” Erica said as Kevin came closer and closer to her.
“I need to talk to you,” he said, out of breath.
“Please don’t,” she replied.
“No, listen. I screwed up—big time. I know it and I’m willing to admit it. So please, just listen. I love you more than anything in the world and not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought about you, talked about you, prayed for you…everything about my life goes back to you. I just wish you cared about me...at all.”
Erica pressed her eyes closed tight, holding back tears that ached to be released.
“Grab my hands,” Erica said.
“What? Why?” Kevin asked, confused.
“Grab my hands,” she demanded once more.
He reached out for her hands and when her fingers laced with his, he felt his heart yearning for her.
“Now pull me up,” she said firmly.
He obliged and she fell towards him just as she had the day before.
“Hold on,” she said as her body slowly inched away from his.
“You’re walking!” Kevin exclaimed as he realized that she had taken two steps with his support.
“I’m walking? I’m walking!” Erica exclaimed. “Jack! Jack, I’m walking!”
Jack ran over to her and Kevin transferred her body towards the physical therapist, who embraced her tightly.
“I knew you could. I knew you could do it!” Jack said, kissing her on the forehead.
“I knew I could too,” she replied. “I just needed him. I just needed love. With love, anything is possible.”
She tried to take a step towards Kevin with Jack’s help, but immediately fell. Instead of crying, she laughed. She reached for Kevin’s hand and pulled him down on to the ground.
“One step at a time,” she said. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said.
They met at the mouth for a kiss that was long overdue and Kevin attended each of Erica's physical therapy sessions while Joe was in the hospital. Each day, she made notable improvement and by the time he returned from his tour, she was walking with braces. She owed it all to him.
That was long. Let me know what you think. I love one-shots.