I just thought this song was so clever I had to write a fic about it. You really have to read the lyrics, or the effect isn't as great. Might not even make sense. So... this is to tide over you Fire readers who are waiting so (im)patiently for a chapter.
You Had To Be There
Song credit: Guess You Had To Be There, by Lorrie Morgan
Hello, honey, how was your day
Well, you're sure in a good mood tonight
Oh, by the way, I was downtown this afternoon
And I saw the most amazing sight
Through the window of a small cafe
I saw a man and a woman holding hands
And they looked so much in love it took my breath away
Can't you see it, don't you understand?
"I went shopping today," Kevin says quietly, picking at his food. He blows his curls out of his eyes and concentrates on his green beans and on judging her reaction.
“Did you?” Nonchalant. “For clothes? Find anything good?” She’s so cheerful, so happy. Her eyes sparkle. When was the last time I saw them sparkle like that, he thinks, and knew I was the one who did it?
“Yeah, I found a few things. Heard us on the radio a couple times. Went to a little café for lunch. There was this couple… so in love. It was sweet.” He looks up at her. She’s eating, brushing her beautiful hair out of her eyes, a soft smile on her face. But she’s not looking at him. The smile’s not for him. It’s never for him anymore.
It wasn’t for him today.
Well, I guess you had to be there
Yeah, you really had to be there
Some things you just can't explain
It's just not the same
I guess you had to be there
“So in love?” She laughs softly. “That’s nice.”
She’s so… unresponsive. She’s barely hearing him. She used to hang on his every word just like he still hangs on hers. She used to love being with him. Now she would rather have lunch with someone else at a café where she didn‘t know he would be, too.
I just stood there, my heart pounding
I couldn't move, all I could do was stare
I kept remembering when we used to look like that
Two people with so much to share
They were talking and they were laughing
Just like we used to do every day
And then he kissed her tenderly
What's the matter, you don't have much to say
He remembers being so close with her. He loves her with everything in him. He was out on tour, and he called her every day. She was so excited to talk to him then. Once she drove for twelve hours just to be at one of his concerts. She stood right below him, front row, beaming up at him and cheering him on. Then, her eyes sparkled all for him. After the show she kissed him, so deep, and told him how much she loved him. There would never be anyone else. Now what? Where did that promise go? “They were holding hands,” he continues after awkward silence, “And he kissed her. She was glowing.” He shrugs. “It would have been beautiful…”
“Why wasn’t it?” She looks so innocent. Could it be she hasn’t caught on yet?
He looks up at her and says, “It was the café by the mall. Closest table to the window.”
Her face freezes and she looks up at him, finally meeting his gaze. He sees in her eyes that she knows he knows. She doesn’t say anything.
“What’s the matter?” He asks, as innocent as she is. “You’re quiet.” No answer--but this is how things usually are between them. “I guess you had to be there.” He’s giving her a chance… a chance to confess, a chance to tell him of her own free will. Then… the look on her face tells him all he needs to know. She’s so, so sorry. Sorry she got caught, but not sorry she was with him.
And as I watched you with your new love
I haven't seen you that happy in years
We've drifted so far apart and it's hard to admit it
But there's nothin' left for you here, so I guess...
As her face falls, the happiness he put there dissipating, she says in the barest of whispers, “I love him.”
His heart rips in two. “I know.” He takes a deep breath, tries to ignore the agony filling his chest. “I know you do. And we…” He swallows back tears he won’t let fall. “We can’t keep pretending everything is OK. Just tell me--why are you still here?”
Resolve is hardening in her eyes. She knows what she’s doing now. There’s no turning back for her. Maybe, when hearts break, you don’t--can’t--turn around again. It’s easier to leave behind the pieces than try to repair the damage. Yet he knows he’s the only one here with a broken heart. She’s happy. Her new love is happy, just like Kevin was when she loved him like she loves this new man. He’s not happy. She looks at him steadily, not even crying. “Some things… some things you just can’t explain. I just didn’t want to hurt you.”
He shakes his head, turns his back on her, his eyes burning, but he refuses to cry if she won’t. “You did. Go. I know you have to.”
Well, I guess you had to be there
Yeah, you really had to be there
Some things you just can't explain
It's just not the same
I guess you had to be there
He hears her pick up her purse and keys and walk away. Not a single touch. Not a hug, not so much as a touch on the shoulder. Nothing. She felt nothing for him
He hears the door open and turns just in time to see her closing the door behind her. The door clicks shut, latch dropping with finality. He sinks down in his chair and finally, finally cries.
Later that night, he stands on stage and winks, grins, rocks out. His heart hurts, but he feels the music, like a soothing balm, flowing over the ragged, broken pieces and healing. He loves her… no, he loved her… but it fell apart a long time ago.
He still sees the scene in the café in his head, but it’s okay now. It’s distant, detached, mild. It no longer bothers him. She’s happy. He’s hurt. But he’ll heal. And her… he hopes she stays happy. Maybe… maybe it was just something she had to do. A place she was meant to be.
Well, I guess you had to be there
Yeah, you really had to be there
Some things you just can't explain
It's just not the same
I guess you had to be there
Forget? Never. Forgive? He’s working on it.
--Kat
