Really now. That's amazing. Well, just for you, for making me so happy tonight. Here's a new chapter. :)
Chapter 6
Joe looked straight into my eyes, and I saw one single tear slip down his strong cheek.
"Chelle, I'm dying." I felt my entire world begin to spin out of control. His hands slipped away from mine and he turned his back on me. I called out as he walked away, but he wouldn't listen. He just kept getting farther away and no matter how hard I tried to follow my feet would not move. Then suddenly he fell down and screamed in agony.
"Joe!" I shreiked, fighting as hard as I could to move so I could get to him. I screamed and screamed to him, but nothing. Then he went still. The silence in my ears was deafening. I could finally move, and I ran to him. He wouldn't move as I held him closely, just laid there limply. I shook him as hard as I could, calling his name, but he was gone. I collapsed over him as the sobs shook me. My Joe, gone.
~
I woke with a start, trails of tears down my cheeks. It was just a dream, I told myself as my breathing slowed. But...but what if he really was dying? I felt something heavy on my stomach, and looking down, it was his head. He was still asleep, peacefully laying there and snoring lightly. I kissed his cheek, not intentionally meaning to wake him up, but his eyes fluttered open anyways. He smiled when he saw me and tightened his arms around me reflexively. I snuggled into his chest, trying to enjoy the moment, but it wasn't long before I couldn't take the suspense.
"Joe?"
"Hmm?" he mumbled into my hair.
"What were you going to tell me?" I felt him stiffen, then relax as he sighed.
"Guess you want to know huh?" I nodded eagerly, so so nervous. Sadness clouded his eyes as he took in a shaky breath, but there was also bravery there, a fierce determination I’d never seen before. "I'm joining the army." My face morphoed into a mask of shock as he waited for a reply. My chest hurt painfully with each rise and fall. "Chelle, just let me explain." EXPLAIN?! Explain what?! I took a deep breath and just looked at him, waiting for him to go on. "I just want you to know that this is so hard for me to tell you. Because I love you, so much." He slowly lifted his hand to my cheek, but I turned away. A look of hurt passed over his face, but he continued on. "I've been thinking about doing this for a year now. One night we were playing in Baltimore and we passed an army base. After I saw it I just couldn't get the image out of my head. I had decided that I was going to do it. I knew it would hurt my brothers and our fans, but this was something in my heart I needed to do. And then you happened. I finally told you how I felt, and when we were together I could not imagine a life without you. I put away all of these thoughts because I wanted to be with you. But it just kept pushing at my heart. You hold all of my heart, you must know that, but I know now that my heart also needs to serve my country. To fight for it, and for you. And I've decided I have to do this." He paused and watched my for a reply.
He was leaving me. I thought that we would always be together, I could follow him wherever his job might take him. Not this time, and just the thought of him not by my side tore me apart.
"What?" I asked in a whisper, still partly believing that my ears were decieving me. "You...you can't." I stuttered, trying my best to keep my composure. "N..No." He took my hand and forced my body to face him, but I wouldn't look into his eyes. It would be too much for me if I did. He tried to get me to look at him, but I closed my eyes tightly, shaking my head quickly back and forth. I felt his arms wrap around me and more than anything I wanted to melt into him like I always did, but I couldn't. Not this time. I pushed him away as hard as I could and stood up, walking out the door without looking back.
Fine, let him leave, I thought to myself. See how much I care. I had my logic. If I didn't care, and if I ignored him, it wouldn't hurt as much when he did leave. That's it. I just had to stay away. How hard could it be? I didn't care, I didn't...
-J<3
