| mollylovesjonasforever wrote
Well, for my school, we had to write a report on someone who inspired us, that was in our age bracket.
So I wrote this about Nick (its REALLY long):
Survivor.
I'm not talking about the show. I'm not talking about a cancer survivor. I'm not talking about a lukemia survivor. I'm not even truly talking about a diabetes survivor.
I'm talking about a just plain old survivor - because Nick Jonas isn't a hero in just one aspect, he's a figure of hope in every area of my life. Every minute of every hour. Every word I write, his face resurfaces because I know that he's not just another diabetic - he's a diabetic with a will to live. A will to survive.
I often imagine waking up, and thinking, "I have diabetes." Would it be a bombshell, each morning? If I did have the disease, what would I do? Would I dwell on it? Live happily ever after? Or torment myself, asking why I was so condemned into having it? Really, I have no idea, because I've been blessed to not be diagnosed with the disease. But one thing is for sure - I could never face it with such pride and courage like Nick. Just watching every video, every signature related to his condition, I want to cry. To shout, to scream, to break down in a sea of tears. Because I can't explain it - hes just got that little piece of me that makes me want to just let a wave of hope out because in every word he says, I know he's got a message there, even if he doens't know it. He's got that drive, that passion. A love that I could never emulate, much less so with diabetes. Much less so with that little reminder that things don't always go as easily as our everyday activites planned in a little agenda, pen strokes even and never unsure.
I don't look at it as a marker on him, its not the first thing that pops into my brain when a picture of Nick floats across my computer screen. No - I see a grey ribbon, blurred with the word hope. Blurred with the vision that so many people can't seem to find anymore, all because they are looking in the wrong places. You don't look for a stature with that kind of leadership - it jumps out at you, blinds you helplessly. Nick Jonas, he's causing me to have to wear sungl*CENSORED*, everyday of my life.
He's got this unrelenting, unwavering, ad infinitum hold on my heart. Not necessarily romantically, but when I think of the face of change, the fresh leader - I think of Nick. When you are constantly booked, battling between teenage life and being a famous heartthrob, times get difficult.
But he doesn't sit there and think, "Well, its too hard. I can't do it. I can't look beyond the imperfections of my life and sew them, mend them.
"
He takes that needle, and he gets to work, weaving back and forth. And everytime, his thread is the color of shining gold. A glimmer of hope, between all the dark curtains framing our sullen lives today. His message is one of the only ones that penetrates me, it seems. Makes me think. Instead of angering me and telling me that I am doing something wrong, his lets me open up. Look at the repercussions, and decide what I can do. Decide finally for myself that my life is mine to live, and I've got to make the best choices, because nothing is strong enough to hold me back. No disease, no person. Seeking hope and self-acceptance is all I can live for, and pray to God that I will find it.
Without him, I don't think I could credit my understanding of life.
In "A Little Bit Longer," he aroused such serious life thoughts within my once troubled soul. When I listen intently to the song, I think of life in of itself.
I think of the fact that when I hear something, when I see something, when I taste something, when I hold something, it never really means anything to me. I take so much for granted that could easily just be swept away from me. I think of the fact that what I hold so far away from my heart and what I so frequently forget to thank God for is what so many others wish they could experience. I think of the fact that when I pass someone on the street, in the hallway at school, even at the mall, that person could just as easily not be here tomorrow. I ask myself why am I so blessed, and yet why do I forget it so many times? I think of how I pity myself so much for the silliest things at times, and I think of how life is a winding and twirling wave - you hear so much around you, the seagulls, the yelling of people, the crash of the water, and yet all you can concentrate on is the wave, is staying afloat, when we should be observing the sights that may not be around tomorrow, that may not always be there, a gentle humming that soothes us but we never thank God for letting us hear.
The song is so deep for me, I cry just about every time I hear it. It makes me feel more humble, and makes me realize how quickly everything can change.
But then at the end, it makes me remember how great God is, and how he has blessed us with people like Nick who stay optimistic even in the face of great despair.
In his own words,
"So I wait 'till kingdom come,
All the highs and lows are gone,
A little bit longer,
And I'll be fine.
I'll be,
Fine.
"
He's never giving up. I'm never giving up. And my heart is set on that final dream. I'll truly be fine. I'll seek and work without fail, because I know that once my highs and lows are gone, I'll be ready to fly. He's taught me that to rid myself of those setbacks, I must march on. Never give up. Wait, and persevere. Just like he is doing without any breaks, everyday, with his diabetes. Just like I'm doing without any breaks. To find myself through every twist and turn.
We're all connected. And Nick - he makes the connection worth while. Worth waiting, worth knowing. Worth acknowledging. And worth hoping for.
He'll be fine, survive, because he's a hero. He's redefined the opaque and loosely tossed around term of "hero." He's not only a kid of the future, but the survivor of the future.
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